Finding Positivity in the Negativity
When trouble sprouts in my life, I tend to complain vehemently about how terrible it feels.
What an inconvenience it causes - interrupting my regularly scheduled life, the injustice of it all. In today’s perspective challenge, I ponder the role negativity plays in my life, how to recognize its importance as a barometer, as a teaching and strengthening tool, and how to discover the phoenix from every pile of ash.
If I lived each day in a kind of utopian existence, would I not eventually lose the perspective of how positivity feels? Without experiencing that polarity, what would separate the highs from the lows? Without that low to contrast the high, I’d be simply standing on a flat plane with no way to feel the joy of existing in a higher place.
I’m not suggesting I’d begin to willfully invite trouble into my life, but looking back over previous struggles with a keen and curious eye, I’d begin to identify certain defining characteristics.
My biggest roadblocks, appearing at what feels like the least opportune moment, actually serve me well in a number of ways. Thinking about how work against resistance is the very thing that builds muscles and creates strength, I can consider the strength I’ve gained mentally and physically as I strive against whatever adversity is blocking my path. It doesn’t feel that way in the moment, of course. Nor do you physically watch the muscles grow on your body as you actively work out. But over time, with consistency, those muscles do appear and grow. So too, I have noticed, did my strength of character, my resolve, my lessons learned begin to strengthen and grow until large enough to become visible.
And sometimes striving against whatever that barricade may be is not the right course at all. Sometimes the very best course of action I can take is to pause, step back, consider, and possibly simply pivot and change directions. Some of the very biggest, best changes in the course of my life arose from just such a reactional pivot. These are new directions I would never have thought to consider had those strategically placed roadblocks not blocked my road. I would have just as merrily meandered down my easy path, never imagining that a better path existed oh so close but just out of sight.
Which brings me to the phoenix from out of the ash. Think of your lowest lows. Did your friends, family, community rally around you, hold your hand while you cried, listen while you ranted, offer solutions or resources, renew your faith in the spirit of human kindness and compassion, remind you that we, none of us, are alone but rather kindred spirits linked by our passage through life? Did your tears fall and cleanse your weary, world-worn soul? Were you forced to take a step away and face your own limitations, relearn where your strengths are and how to flex them?
I wish for just enough tears to appreciate the smiles, just enough pain to be thankful for the laughter, enough struggle to generate strength and witness myself grow. May we all have the foresight to live in gratitude not only for the bountiful good in our lives but for all that we can learn along a journey fraught with pitfalls, obstacles, and hairpin turns, and may we delight in realizing our capabilities as we traverse the treacherous road.
